The journey of a Student Affairs graduate student is not an easy one (as I’m sure many of you know). Many SA grads like myself have to balance an assistantship, classes, internships, volunteering, family, friends, self-care, and a million other things. Last year I quickly learned that a combination of many stressors can bring a person down.
This is why my goal for the second year of SA grad is to be more positive and to make more time for myself.
Although I am typically a very self-aware person, I often forget how challenging life becomes when I do not make enough introvert time for myself. My first lesson learned is that I need to create concrete, scheduled, non-negotiable introvert time for myself during the week. Another really crucial thing for me to realize is that I should not listen to people who tell me that I am not an introvert because I am “too outgoing” and that I am “not quiet at all.” Introversion and extroversion are the ways that we recharge when we are at our busiest. So yes, I am very outgoing and bubbly but I am still in need of my time to recharge and refocus in the ways that work best for me.
In addition to taking care of my needs as an introvert, I also learned that venting is a very unhealthy coping mechanism for me. If you know me, you would say that I am not typically a negative person. The unfortunate reality is that I allowed myself to fall into a very detrimental, dark mindset where I struggled to find positivity in the world. I struggled with managing my negative emotions and did not process through those emotions in an appropriate way. I am now getting into the habit of stepping back and reframing my mindset before I speak poorly of a situation or individual. Yes, the world is not perfect and bad things happen, but this is not a reason to continuously speak out of negativity. It is a challenge, but I know in my heart that this is the right thing to do. Although venting is a healthy coping mechanism for others, it certainly is not the best one for me.
Finally, I learned that I need to celebrate each moment and to appreciate this experience. Again, life is not perfect and graduate school is extremely stressful at times. I need to step back in order to be thankful for this journey. I also need to live in the moment because the experience goes by quickly.
In conclusion, I want to leave you with some things that help me with living a more positive #SAGrad life! I hope that you will make it your goal to do the same.
• Write in a gratitude journal daily. I write 3 things that I am grateful for in the morning and at night, and then write 3 goals for myself each day. Instead of writing job or school-related goals, I write simple things like “laugh a lot” or “make self-care time.” I find it easier to accomplish these simple, yet fulfilling goals.
• Take care of your mental health in the ways that work best for you. I feel a drastic difference in my mental health when I take the time to go to workout classes and eat healthy. I absolutely love yoga and Zumba because they are a fun way to get in a workout. Some other strategies that are helpful to me are attending regular counseling sessions, getting enough sleep at night, and taking my medication. The more we talk about our mental health needs, the less stigmatized it becomes. It is important to find out what works for you!
• Make time for the people that mean most to you. I am a very family-oriented person, so I spend the majority of my time with my fiancé, my family, or my fiancé’s family. This means that my friends sometimes fall by the wayside, which is not okay. My new goal is to make time for my friends, especially the long-distance ones, and to give them a call at least once a week. I also plan to schedule time for my friends in the area at least once a month. Grad school is tough and many of us abandon our friends for a period of time because of our insane schedules. By scheduling out my time, my hope is that I can continue to stay connected to the people who mean the most.